Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year...but what if it's not?

I've always loved Christmas. The nativity plays, the carols, the gift giving, the food and the family time. But some aspects of it I struggled with including parties, nights out and even receiving gifts can sometimes be overwhelming. And as a Mum things haven't always turned out the way I'd hoped and I imagine I'm not alone.

My children are Autistic and Christmas isn't always a merry time for them or us as parents. When I dreamed of my future as a Mum at Christmas time, I imagined visiting Santa, Christmas lights, going to see our kids in nativity plays, opening up advent calendars, baking cookies, seeing our kids faces light up as they tore open presents and our families having fun with our kids on Christmas day. We have tried all these things but they often ended in tears.

My oldest didn't open presents until he was 7 years old. That's 6 birthdays and Christmas' of hoping he would open his presents and then being disappointed. But that was on us, he was perfectly happy. We had to learn that although we felt like we were missing out, he wasn't and the main thing was to make him happy. The other issue we had was that he had really narrow interests and couldn't talk. So, we really struggled to buy him presents he would love. Now, he's a lot older and loves opening presents. He gets excited about Christmas but generally doesn't like a lot of Christmas activities. We are so thankful though that he opens presents and we can make him smile that way.

Our middle son also didn't open presents but started at the younger age of 4 years old. Although, he opened presents at an earlier age, he struggles to go places that are new, busy and seeing Santa was never great for him.

My youngest doesn't care that it's Christmas. He won't open presents, he's distraught if we take him to see Santa, he hates busy, new places, he's not a fan of visitors in our house and prefers being at home.

For parents the main aim of Christmas is to make our kids happy and to spend time with them. So, at Christmas we do things a little different when we can so our kids are happy. Even if it's not doing the traditional or popular Christmas activities.

Here's to not wrapping all the presents, to not eating turkey for dinner, for not seeing loads of family, to quiet days, to sticking with routine and to doing Christmas your own way.

I want to send out big hugs to those families whose christmas has to be different, for the children who can get overwhelmed and for those parents who do the best they can.

Here are a few things to consider for autistic children and adults during christmas: